SUPER exciting news!!!

Ok, so I understand that we all have bigger fish to fry right now. I should probably be working on the better mousetrap and stocking up on eggs (for vandalism), and you should probably be devoting more thought to whatever it is you've been putting off. Child support, maybe.

But none of that means that we can't take a moment to appreciate an exciting new achievement of mine and The Chesterton Review and mine: a Google search for "I'd rather be queefing" (even without the quotation marks!) returns two sites of utter bullshit ... and then The Chesterton Review! We're #3!

This is super exciting. I mean, there's so much more to TCR than Hurricane I'd Rather Be Queefing, but it's still important. We're getting out there. We're doing it. We're making money*.

Now, I know that Google has a bold and complicated algorithm, basing search results on your age, gender, what your personal website is, how often you search for "I'd rather be queefing" and so forth, so my 3rd place return might come in at, say, 9th for you. But unless your online profile includes tons of stuff about how much you hate queefing, I think we can safely assume that TCR and the original I.R.B.Q. will consistently come up in your top search 20 results.

Where do we go from here? Anywhere! Just keep at it!

Dammit. I feel like I had something else to mention here. My twin uncles Seamus and Sean recently beat the living tar out of each other in an empty pool last week, but that wasn't it. Hey, though, while it's on my mind, I should say that I found out that Sean isn't, as I had previously assumed, partially retarded. It turns out that he's just a little bit drunk all the time. He still can't drive worth a damn, but it's interesting to get a little more info on that.

*Not from the website. I've started charging my neighbors to protect their houses from overnight eggings. But money is still money.**

**Holy moly! "Money is money" could be the next I'd Rather Be Queefing!


  1. You made numbers 5 and 6 on my search, but it was hard to make it all the way down when I saw the article by Dr. Yoga, "How to stop vaginal farts." Kind of the opposite of your article, but still a compelling title.

  2. Sweet! Yeah, that search is a minefield of extremely useful advice if queefing is a problem in your life (which, I know, sounds like an oxymoron.)


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