Minor legal trouble re: The Dirty Bindle

You may have noticed that updates to The Chesterton Review have been infrequent of late. You may also have noticed that update to The Chesterton Review have always been relatively infrequent.

To the latter observation, I say only this: infrequent relative to what? The deaths of your pets? I'm sorry for your losses, but that's your problem, not mine.

As to the former observation, well, yes, you were right. But while my posting delays are usually due to performance anxiety and vitamin C hangovers, this time it's all that plus a growing legal headache.

Do you remember my million dollar hobo* blog idea, The Dirty Bindle? Well, it turns out that I'm not the only one gently cupping a Dirty Bindle in my sweaty, excited palm. See, apparently there's a media conglomerate specializing in adult entertainment that already has plans for The Dirty Bindle (.com, .net, .bindle—you name it, they have plans for it. A glossy quarterly is already in the design phase, I hear.) I probably shouldn't use the name of the company just yet, but if you've seen any honey bee-themed erotica (literally, any at all), you know exactly to whom I'm referring.

According to their plans, "The Dirty Bindle" would become a suite of pornographic magazines and websites catering to men and women who intensely interested in scrota.

Uuugh. This is certainly not what I had in mind. I should say, perhaps, that this company would take umbrage at the term "pornographic," but I don't see any way around it. You show me a few dozen close-up photographs of ball sacks, and I'm not sure what to call it but pornography. Certainly not "scrotal art."

At any rate, this has eaten up quite a bit of my time. (I'm not yet pulling in enough ad revenue to pay for council, so I'm currently representing myself in my meetings with their legal team.) I'm reasonably confident that there's some sort of precedent out there favoring my position, or that, at the very least, I'll get one of the many judges who aren't obsessed with balls (or would like it to appear that they aren't). Still, it's discouraging. I would have liked The Dirty Bindle to be off the ground by now, but the people who want it on the ground (or any number of bizarre places, assuming it's also on film) are really frustrating my efforts.

Oh well. I'm nothing if not patient.

*"Million-dollar-hobo"! There's a great idea for a regular column right there! Are we talking about a regular hobo who has everything he needs right in his alley, along with a great outlook on life? Or is the Million Dollar Hobo an actual Scrooge McDuck type who is lost in a big city and suffering from severe dementia? Why not both?!

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