World, meet Rex Dollman

Ha ha ha! I'm sorry! I'm laughing so hard, when I try to type, I just keep writing ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! See? It ha ha ha happened again!

Don't worry—you'll get it in a second.

Is Gary Coleman still alive? I thought I heard that he died of the Webster disease, but I've also heard that little people live a long time. I mean, just look at Bilbo. Or Doctor Ruth!

I only ask, because I'm looking for someone like Mr. Gary Coleman to involve in a new project I've been brewing upstairs: Rex Dollman! I bet some of you were worried that Rex Dollman was some sort of Andy Kaufman/Juaquin Phoenix alter ego. I guess he is a little bit, but not for me (please, I have enough on my hands balancing Dandy and Frisky Chesterton.)

No, Rex Dollman is an exciting new character, about to burst onto the literary/Hollywood scene. Is he a little person? With a name like "Dollman," I'd certainly think so. But not necessarily! (Sorry, Gary—nothing was finalized, and plans can change just like that.) Is he a detective? Um, well his name is "Rex," isn't it? So, yes, he's a detective.

Or is his name Rex? At this point, his name could be, say, Jiminy. (Gary! You're back in!) Or it could be Gary, for that matter.

So, yeah, it's not done yet. Rex Dollman is still being birthed, as it were, and I just want to get things slippery by talking it out a little. But I wanted you to know that I haven't just been sitting on my butt for the last three months. I've been busy conceiving Rex.

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