Try this one out real quick

Noah's Pirate Ark!! Or maybe Pirate Noah!!

See where I'm going here? It's like the same old Noah story, except he's a pirate! A pirate on a ship full of animals?! I know, right!

What does pirate Noah want with those animals? I don't know. It's not my job to know. Maybe he's going to try to eat them, or maybe he wants them for something sexual? Maybe he's going to sell some, and save some for sexual stuff. Those are the sorts of things a writer can figure out. I'm an ideas man. Just start sending me checks when it hits theaters.

Do I smell Hollywood?

I've been watching the stats on "Grapes in the Snow," and... that shit is blowing up! It's off the hook! It's blowing off the hook like a telephone packed with TNT, that detonates and throws a hooker out of her client's apartment. (If you were wondering, the client dies, probably. The hooker is a little broken glassy, but she's pretty much fine. The hooker could also be a man, if you want.)

Anyway, out of the post's many hits that didn't come from me, I'm almost positive at least one was from a Hollywood agent looking for next year's holiday dick-breaker. This time next year, I'll be rolling in piles of cash, and rinsing off in a tub of panda blood.

But I'll remember y'all.

PS—"Dick-breaker" is a new expression I'm trying out these days. Obviously it's a stand in for "blockbuster" here, but I think it has a number of potential applications. Not the least of which would be someone or something that actually breaks dicks, like a bolt-cutter, or a fed-up dog. But I urge you to be more creative.

PPS—I hope you all aren't turned off by my violent hooker simile or dick-breaker stuff. I think I just get this way when I'm excited.