Dick-breaker, the icebreaker.

Yeah, ok, that was my bad. I shouldn't just introduce a groundbreaking new concept like "dick breaker" (or "dick-breaker," or "dickbreaker," I haven't decided) and leave you in the lurch like that.

And, to be perfectly honest, I think "dick-breaker" is going to take off even before "Grapes in the Snow." (Although I'm certain that Grapes in the Snow is going to be huge too. It's just going to take a couple of months.)

Anyway, now might be the time for a couple practice dick-breakers. Try with me:

"Mom's being a real dick-breaker, eh, Dad?"

"We aren't allowed to eat meat on Fridays? The pope is the number one dick-breaker, if you ask me."

"Don't put your dick on the door frame like that, son. A fast-closing door can be a real dick-breaker."

"If I were to crack open Dick Clark's head with a hammer, I sure would be a dick-breaker. As it is, though, I just stabbed him."

"You're out of the salmon, huh? I guess I'll take the dick-breaker."

And so on. We're still pretty early in R&D here, obviously, but it has a lot of potential. This must be how the guy who discovered gasoline felt.

Do I smell Hollywood?

I've been watching the stats on "Grapes in the Snow," and... that shit is blowing up! It's off the hook! It's blowing off the hook like a telephone packed with TNT, that detonates and throws a hooker out of her client's apartment. (If you were wondering, the client dies, probably. The hooker is a little broken glassy, but she's pretty much fine. The hooker could also be a man, if you want.)

Anyway, out of the post's many hits that didn't come from me, I'm almost positive at least one was from a Hollywood agent looking for next year's holiday dick-breaker. This time next year, I'll be rolling in piles of cash, and rinsing off in a tub of panda blood.

But I'll remember y'all.

PS—"Dick-breaker" is a new expression I'm trying out these days. Obviously it's a stand in for "blockbuster" here, but I think it has a number of potential applications. Not the least of which would be someone or something that actually breaks dicks, like a bolt-cutter, or a fed-up dog. But I urge you to be more creative.

PPS—I hope you all aren't turned off by my violent hooker simile or dick-breaker stuff. I think I just get this way when I'm excited.