I shaved my beard this evening.
Oh, you didn't know I had a beard? Well, look at my profile picture, and mentally draw a beard on it. Or literally draw a beard on it, if you have computer monitors to spare -- I have, so I often do that sort of thing.
Now, erase the beard, mentally. Or throw away your drawn-on monitor and hook up a new one...
Amazing change, huh?
It's very refreshing, you know. I'd recommend it to anyone, as a nice change of pace. If you haven't got a beard, shave something else covered in hair (it has to be attached to your body though -- shaving a cat, or something, would be refreshing as well, but in a different way). Or if you're one of those bizarre hairless people, albinos, try just taking off your shirt. It's nice, isn't it.
The reason for this change of face is that I am preparing for a trip -- I'm going to Vietnam. I know what you're all thinking: "Oh, he's going to pick up a mail-order Vietnamese bride."
Not true. First of all, that would just be weird. Also, I could never be with a communist. I wasn't around for much of the Cold War, but my friend Tard is a bonified Cold Warrior, and he still gets night terrors about the whole thing. It's true -- I've been woken up by him screaming "Castro! Kennedy! Castro!" in the middle of the night, and he lives two houses away.
No, the reason for my trip is much more noble that all of that. I plan on pretending to adopt a child. A little Vietnamese child.
There's been so much great press lately over adopting tiny foreigners, and I want a part of it! When I come back, I'll have tons of pictures of me touring orphanages, and shaking the hands of hopeful little kids, and my admirers will be in hog heaven. I'm hoping, too, that the children will make me little gifts, in the hope of winning me over.
As far as actually bringing home an orphan goes, well the chances of that are pretty much zero. It wouldn't be good for the kid -- I used to have a cactus, and I paid so little attention to it, the damn thing just wasted away. I'd hate to see that happen to a child. Plus, I don't want to be tied down to some little weirdo for the next twelve years.
I'm very much looking forward to the whole experience.
Also, did I ever mention my recent trip to the lemur farm? No, I didn't, did I. Well, it was remarkable, but it will have to wait. I have a plane to catch!
Oh, you didn't know I had a beard? Well, look at my profile picture, and mentally draw a beard on it. Or literally draw a beard on it, if you have computer monitors to spare -- I have, so I often do that sort of thing.
Now, erase the beard, mentally. Or throw away your drawn-on monitor and hook up a new one...
Amazing change, huh?
It's very refreshing, you know. I'd recommend it to anyone, as a nice change of pace. If you haven't got a beard, shave something else covered in hair (it has to be attached to your body though -- shaving a cat, or something, would be refreshing as well, but in a different way). Or if you're one of those bizarre hairless people, albinos, try just taking off your shirt. It's nice, isn't it.
The reason for this change of face is that I am preparing for a trip -- I'm going to Vietnam. I know what you're all thinking: "Oh, he's going to pick up a mail-order Vietnamese bride."
Not true. First of all, that would just be weird. Also, I could never be with a communist. I wasn't around for much of the Cold War, but my friend Tard is a bonified Cold Warrior, and he still gets night terrors about the whole thing. It's true -- I've been woken up by him screaming "Castro! Kennedy! Castro!" in the middle of the night, and he lives two houses away.
No, the reason for my trip is much more noble that all of that. I plan on pretending to adopt a child. A little Vietnamese child.
There's been so much great press lately over adopting tiny foreigners, and I want a part of it! When I come back, I'll have tons of pictures of me touring orphanages, and shaking the hands of hopeful little kids, and my admirers will be in hog heaven. I'm hoping, too, that the children will make me little gifts, in the hope of winning me over.
As far as actually bringing home an orphan goes, well the chances of that are pretty much zero. It wouldn't be good for the kid -- I used to have a cactus, and I paid so little attention to it, the damn thing just wasted away. I'd hate to see that happen to a child. Plus, I don't want to be tied down to some little weirdo for the next twelve years.
I'm very much looking forward to the whole experience.
Also, did I ever mention my recent trip to the lemur farm? No, I didn't, did I. Well, it was remarkable, but it will have to wait. I have a plane to catch!
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