The moment you've all been waiting for...

With the fall of 2008 rapidly approaching, the question on everyone's mind is becoming increasingly obvious: Who will Dandy Chesterton back for the presidential election?

Well, wonder no longer, because the verdict is in. This man WILL be the next president of the United States of America:

That's right, all, Perot is back! He's got spirit, he's got ideas, and, most of all, he's got hunger! Hunger for the blood of Washington fatcats, and hunger for food (I imagine -- I'm sure financing two failed campaigns puts quite a strain on the old pocketbook).
Now, I'm sure most of you are wondering, "But, Dandy, why little Perot? Isn't he crazy?"
To this I say, "Yes, he is." But foxes are crazy too, or so I hear, and wouldn't we all like to have a fox for president? Of course we would! The world would be our henhouse. Also, to the best of my knowledge, Ross Perot is a Texan, and being a Texan is the next best thing to being from Heaven (That is to say, being an angel. Or Jesus). If I could have the men of the Alamo make up the cabinet, well... you know I would.

Not Daniel Boone, though -- I heard that he was a sodomist. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just don't think there's a place for sodomy in Perot's White House.

So what about Vice President? I think the answer is obvious:

Most people don't know this, but Larry Bird is a supreme court judge in New Mexico, and he invented crime-fighting. Plus, the man can play some good ball.
I know that Perot tried having a former athlete as a running mate last time, and it didn't work out, but that man was a football player, and he had downs syndrome.

One item that still requires scrutiny: Is Ross Perot still alive?
I haven't heard much from him in the last decade or so, and my sources can't confirm or disprove his vitality. I think it would be important that he's alive for his presidency.

So, if Perot is dead (or not alive), I'll need a replacement. Here are a few possible candidates:

A wizard, Stephen Hawking

A warrior, Russell Crowe

Or, a Lost Prince, Terry Perot

However it turns out, things are looking good for our country in 08!!!

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