I'll have you know, Mr. Smarty-Pants, that I was actually writing a book until recently. It was an extremely carefully thought out project, and it only stopped (temporarily, I'd say) due to a hitch in the testing phase.
Here's how it goes: for years now I've been working on, well, we'll call it my opus -- 101 Ways to Skin a Cat. I mean, we've all heard the expression, right? "There's more than one way to..." blah blah blah. I've always thought, "let's hear some, huh?" So it seemed only logical to do a little research and a lot of brainstorming, and come up with a comprehensive response and guide to that tired old cliche.
I did, in fact, come up with 101 ways, but problems arose when I attempted to test them. I kept getting my hands scratched, and I'm not even sure I had the right tools for the job. The main obstacle, of course, was the philistine nature of my cat, who was entirely unwilling to make sacrifices for the good of humanity. For the good of all life, even (with the possible exception of cats).
At any rate, I have been forced to reshape my vision. As frustrating as this process has been, I think I have finally arrived at a new concept nearly as elegant as the last, and very much related in its aims:
101 Ways to Get a Bunny Out of a Wetsuit.
Now, little bunny-sized wetsuits may prove to be scarce, but bunnies themselves are, by all accounts, numerous. I may need only a handful of them, depending. I won't, however, hazard a guess as to how many wetsuits I'll need -- the process of removal might be prohibitive to re-use.
This brings me to my current challenge: the 101 ways. I have plenty, but I need more. If anyone has any suggestions, I would be happy to accept them (you will not be creditted in the book, nor will you receive royalties of any kind). Here are a few possible methods, just to get noggin' sloggin', as they say (actually, I just made that up. Good though, huh?)
-Boiling water
-A sexy lady-bunny (like Lola Bunny)
-A cheese-grater
-The compelling power of Christ
-A pile of carrots, and a slightly-too-small hole
-Seductive music
-Bunny-solvent (hydrochloric acid)
Any inspiration?
Here's how it goes: for years now I've been working on, well, we'll call it my opus -- 101 Ways to Skin a Cat. I mean, we've all heard the expression, right? "There's more than one way to..." blah blah blah. I've always thought, "let's hear some, huh?" So it seemed only logical to do a little research and a lot of brainstorming, and come up with a comprehensive response and guide to that tired old cliche.
I did, in fact, come up with 101 ways, but problems arose when I attempted to test them. I kept getting my hands scratched, and I'm not even sure I had the right tools for the job. The main obstacle, of course, was the philistine nature of my cat, who was entirely unwilling to make sacrifices for the good of humanity. For the good of all life, even (with the possible exception of cats).
At any rate, I have been forced to reshape my vision. As frustrating as this process has been, I think I have finally arrived at a new concept nearly as elegant as the last, and very much related in its aims:
101 Ways to Get a Bunny Out of a Wetsuit.
Now, little bunny-sized wetsuits may prove to be scarce, but bunnies themselves are, by all accounts, numerous. I may need only a handful of them, depending. I won't, however, hazard a guess as to how many wetsuits I'll need -- the process of removal might be prohibitive to re-use.
This brings me to my current challenge: the 101 ways. I have plenty, but I need more. If anyone has any suggestions, I would be happy to accept them (you will not be creditted in the book, nor will you receive royalties of any kind). Here are a few possible methods, just to get noggin' sloggin', as they say (actually, I just made that up. Good though, huh?)
-Boiling water
-A sexy lady-bunny (like Lola Bunny)
-A cheese-grater
-The compelling power of Christ
-A pile of carrots, and a slightly-too-small hole
-Seductive music
-Bunny-solvent (hydrochloric acid)
Any inspiration?
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