For Cukpake's Sake! The Dave Mathews' Experience saga

By now, I'm guessing that more than a few have heard some of the buzz surrounding my new band, The Dave Mathews' Experience.
Well, I'm afraid you'll have to await a little longer for our much awaited debut album - we're a little mired down with regards to our conceptual direction right now.  In the meantime, though, I thought I'd fill y'all in on what The DME is all about - where we're coming from, and where we're (trying to) go.

The orogin story of DME is kind of a funny one. Now, everyone who's anyone knows that music is my life, just as much as water is a fish's life, or booze is an alky's life, so it should come as no surprise that I've been quietly searching for the perfect band for some time now. As of last summer, I had found exactly zero members.
However, my parents live next to a gentleman named Tard Henderson, and Tard has a son about my age, who just happens to be something of a musician. My parents have been trying to get me to play with Xander for years (His real name is Tard Alexander Henderson jr, but he goes by Xander), but I always assumed that he wouldn't be up to my standards, so I would just think up excuses whenever I was in the neighborhood. Diarrhea figured into a lot of those excuses.
Over Thanksgiving, though, a situation came up where diarrhea simply wasn't a believable option (I don't want to get into it), and, when push came to shove, I choked and couldn't think of an excuse. So I had to trudge over to Tards house, and lug all my instruments up to Xander's room. You think one sitar is heavy? Try three.
Well, it was a long and noisy evening, and I confirmed, to no one's surprise, that Xander was no where near up to par with me. Musically, and in all other respects. Maybe if you are into Yanni's earlier, girlier, stuff, you'd be into Xander.
The real surprise came when Tard sr., who had been watching the practice from a hiding place all evening, threw a beer bottle at Xander's head. Maybe it wasn't a beer bottle -- it could have been a flower vase. Whatever it was, it shattered over Xander's face, and the little guy left pretty much right away. Tard got to talking, then, about his musical background, and how he had had his own band back in the day. It was called King Tard and the Knights of Scandia. He played a little of their stuff on the keyboard, and I will say this: He was good. Very good.
By the end of the night, the DME had finally and truly been formed.

Now, as I said, we are fighting through the quagmire of conceptual direction. And it's not just me against Tard - it's me against me, and Tard against Tard, and, mostly, me against Tard. It's my band, though, so I expect things to go my way.
We've got several possible first albums on the table now. Any of them could be ready for release in a matter of weeks, but we just have to be sure about where we want this first hit to take us. These are a few of the options:

The Battle of Milkshake Lake - this is a very concept based collection of songs. It's all about resolving my (and, to a lesser extent, Tard's) reoccurring dreams of epic battles between the fictional characters of my childhood. If you can imagine Poo Bear with a Desert Eagle (and I doubt you really can), you have something of an idea of the mental anguish this has caused me over the years,

Welcome To Da Planet Urf; I Am King - This has a much more "urban" feel to it. I picture myself standing on a mountain, wearing a big crown. I may or may not be greeting a group of space aliens in this image.

The Kinghts of Scandia: Scandia Nights - This one is Tard's idea. I think he's hoping that we might change the name of the band to The Knights of Scandia. I don't see that happening, at least not in my life time, but it's difficult to say for sure.

So now you have a little better idea as to what The Dave Mathew's Experience is all about. The easy stuff is done (writing the songs), now it's just a matter of deciding which to chose. When that's finished... well, keep a hand on your wallet, and an eye on your local stadium, 'cause DME is coming for both!

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