A Surprise Review

That's right, everybody, I decided it was time for another of my famous reviews. But which little piece of popular culture falls under the magnifying glass and scalpel this time?


Yes, it's high time we all got to know a little bit more about these little critters. Do they deserve their spot as the next pet craze? Or is it true that they were the original inspiration for those things that burst out of people's chests in Alien. I think they were aleins.

Once again, I feel it should be made clear that I have never actually  encountered a ferret, nor interacted with one in any way (with the possible exception of a poisoning, but I just sells poisons, I doesn't use them myself).

Here's what I know, and how I feel about it:
1. Contrary to popular belief, ferrets are in no way related to weasels. So get all your weasel-prejudices away from them. It just so happens that ferrets fall more closely to sea-lions and seals. Pinipeds, I believe. Ferrets are pinipeds. Personally, I like weasels, especially when compared to pinipeds (known man-hunters), so this doesn't do a thing for me. A big -.
2. Ferrets have musk glands that must be a)tolerated, or b)dealt with, either through a)removal, or b)killing the ferret. Now, the idea of a skunky little sea-lion roaming around my house is certainly not appealing, but I have always felt that our society should be a little kinder to the smellier creatures amongst us. And a non-deskunked ferret would probably be lots of fun at parties. A solid +.
3. Ferrets fit easily into tubes. In fact, they like being in tubes. Therefore ferret transportation is relatively simple. +.
4. Not being hedgehogs (another member of the piniped family) ferrets are not subject to any of the hedgehog restricting laws in our southern states. And they very rarely come down with Wobbly Hedgehog Syndrome (WHS is a real condition - google it, jerks - and it's very sad. It's like MS for hedgehogs. And sometimes ferrets.) +.
5. Ferrets have been known to slip inside their owners' bodies, either immediately after surgery, or while the owner sleeps with their mouth open. It is suspected they simply do this for warmth, but, frankly, I find it disgusting. Call me a bigot. -.
6. A favorite pet of the astronauts. -.

So, the facts are now clear. My opinion remains elusive, however. 3 +s, 3 -s. What a horrible format for a review. In summation, I give the 6 point, plus or minus review style a definate -.

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